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For the past few years, I tend to skim the headlines online every few days.  I usually feel rushed and unfocused.  However, for the past three weeks, I have had the greatest luxury (privilege?) to be able to sit down in the morning and read two newspapers from the previous day. My partner has been bringing them home from work for me.  With most people coming back to work in a few days and my own demands, I am not sure that this opportunity will last.

I had forgotten how satisfying and peaceful it is to actually experience holding a paper and slowly reading or reviewing each article.  The eyes travel over the page differently than on a computer screen.  You can actually take it all in – even while skimming parts of the page. (I don’t care how big the screen is or if you use an  iPad the qualities are not the same.)  The movement from page to page when continuing an article has its own sensation.  My attention is there in the moment and present.  It is the experience as much as the information that is of importance.  It doesn’t feel like another task to mark of my “to do” list.  On the contrary it is rejuvenating.

This activity has a number of benefits which all relate to balance:

• It sets the stage for the day ahead by forcing me to slow down and breathe.
• It clears my mind and at the same time stimulates my thinking.
• I have convinced it changes the way my brain waves are snapping . . .  less alpha, more beta and the right amount of theta?
• Finally, it keeps me current in the world of what is really going on.

What are you doing to start the day refreshed and grounded?

Here is a short related video of a presentation that I attended this summer at the Lift10 Conference in Geneva:

Over the years, like my guest author, I have helped coach individuals improve their public speaking.  So when I saw this simple exercise, I was intrigued.  I immediately asked Noel if I could reprint the short article.  Noel kindly agreed and asked me to add a link after his name “if you can fit that in”.  Well in my view one link isn’t enough.  Noel is a great coach and has lots of wonderful resources. Check out the sites listed below and be sure to sign up for his newsletter for the latest updates.  That is where I found this tip.  While I have not had much difficulty in presenting in public, my own personal inspiration would have to be the speeches of Winston Churchill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Becoming a Confident Speaker*

by Noel Posus

One of the most common areas of discussion I find in the workplace coaching I do is when individuals share that they are not confident speakers, and there are many reasons behind that. Certainly the fear of public speaking, which includes for some the fear of speaking up in a team meeting, is one of the biggest fears we have in our professional lives. A technique that I’ve been able to use quite successfully with many coachees is to ask them to research and find an emotionally moving speech from history and to practice delivering that speech at home.

The process generally helps them change their posture, learn to project their voice , work on how to vary their vocal inflection for impact, how to believe in the message they’re delivering and so on. This process also helps them “rewire” their brain to get all of these changes to work in concert and eventually, with practice, supports the individual to become more confident when they speak.  There are many other techniques I use along with this one, but I thought you might find this one particular technique interesting.

The most common speech people tend to pick is Martin Luther King’s famous “I have a dream” speech.  You can download the text and/or watch a video of that history-making speech here. And if you’d like to look up a list of 50 more incredible and historic speeches which you can also watch online, here’s another link.

Why not try this out for yourself and see how you too could boost your confidence and possibly also enhance the impact you can have on others when you speak?

About the Author:

Noel Posus is a recognized leader of the international coaching industry. He is a Master Coach with nearly twenty years experience as a professional educator, coach and author.Noel  has provided coaching and change management solutions to individuals and groups within the corporate, education and sporting fields and developed numerous specialty coaching programs.  Some of his web sites are:

www.askacoach.com
www.thewheelsoflife.com
www.coachingtoolsandresources.com

* Reprinted with permission.

I find it interesting how often I just accept was is being said without serious analysis and then find myself saying – well that makes sense when the “facts” have been disputed.  I found this happening to me when I read one of the headline this week in the New York Times:  Japan, Checking on Its Oldest, Finds Many Gone. I have no qualms about Japan having one of the oldest populations of citizens but really how many people can there be over 110?  Well, apparently Japan thought she had more than 200.

The concern comes after it was discovered that the “newest” oldest person in Japan was found in his bed mummified and he had in actuality been dead for 30 years.  This makes for great press but I wonder.

Should we be surprised?  It is not difficult to extrapolate into our own back yards and see the pressures on our own system mounting. These new realities of longer lives will play themselves out in ways that we were not anticipating.

Some health experts say these cases reflect strains in a society that expects children to care for their parents, instead of placing them in care facilities. They point out that longer life spans mean that children are called upon to take care of their elderly parents at a time when the children are reaching their 70s and are possibly in need of care themselves.

Should we be surprised?  Let us look beyond the cultural norms and expectations of the Japanese society for a minute.  We, in the west, have been feeling the pressures mounting over the care of our own elderly.  Elderly abuse exists everywhere and yet I do not see that much of it in the press.  I have only questions and not answers to this dilemma. I am one of the fortunate ones with parents reaching 90 who also had the financial resources to ensure proper care.  While I live thousands of kilometres away, I have a brother who believes it is not only his responsibility but his love to be there for our father.  Many others do not have a similar luxury but it seems that many are under some illusion that things will take care of themselves . . . somehow.  Perhaps winning the lottery?  A number of years  ago I read that 50% of people think they will get to retirement by winning the lottery.  To be honest I do not believe this figure and can’t be bothered to check it out.  However, it says a lot about our assumptions and belief systems.

Should we be surprised? It is time to wake up to the “truths” of our situation and admit that it is through our lack of diligence that we are where we are.  “Pride goeth before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)  What are the consequences when a nation or group or organization begins to pride itself of some achievement or value at the exclusion of current realities or common sense for that matter? We need to challenge these assumptions. We need to admit that some of our righteous indignation is merely a masked pride.  We need to review our thinking for faulty logic.  We need to consider seriously that we might be wrong.

As a side note, this morning I was reading that perhaps Lou Gehrig didn’t have A.L.S. or as it is better known “Lou Gehrig’s” disease after all.  Seems athletes and members of the military who are repeatedly subjected to hard hits are likely to suffer later from what looks like A.L.S.   Should we be surprised?

While I was sitting at breakfast this morning, I noticed the book title that my 7 yr old was reading, TreeTops Stage 13 “The Personality Potion” (If you know the scholastic series, you will know that I am boasting because Stage 13 is for 9 to 10 year old.) It was evident to me that here was a blog post if I ever saw one.  So after every one had left for school and work, I sat down to read this delightful book by Alan MacDonald.

The story is about a young boy Danny who is very introverted.  He is afraid of the school bully and afraid to try out for the school play. His uncle gives hims a magic potion.

‘Personality Potion?’ Danny’s eyes widened. ‘What’s that?’
‘It brings out the hidden talents that no one know are inside you.”

Turns out that after taking the potion, Danny is able to stand up to the bully.  Even though he drops the bottle with the potion in it, Danny successfully auditions for the school play.  While there are a number of lessons in the short book, the obvious one is about believing in oneself.  I could delve into the concept of the Pygmalion Effect or the power of affirmations, but I won’t.  The suggestions in the book for a parent to discuss with his or her child are far more potent.

After reading

• Read page 54 again together.  Ask your child if they think the story could happen in real life and if someone could change their personality by believing in him or herself.
• Talk together about any hidden talents your child things they might have and how they can use them.

As  coach, we are always asking our clients about limiting beliefs.  As a leader, we are always looking to uncover the talents and potential of those who work with and for us.

Questions: Do you think people can change?  Really?  If yes, how do you support this shift?

Awareness and knowledge are the first steps in a person’s ability to make choices of any kind.  Inpartial assessments can be a good place to start.  However, wanting to change and know how to go about your development may require a different skill set.  Just as parent is there to support and guide children, adults may need a mentor or coach to facilitate the process.

If you are interested in using assessments to uncover your own hidden talents or to use them with your clients / team, please contact me.  I offer a variety of instruments through AssessYourself or can recommend one to you.  More information can be found at: Assessments Here

Life is full of chores and too many little things to do .  There is a new service in town that I read about in Fact Company and I am on my second month of giving them a go.  In principle – this is a fantastic concept and service.  Fancy Hands call themselves personal assistants in the clouds and describe themselves as:

Every day there are things you need to get done, but they’re not necessarily things that you need to do. Just email us and we’ll take care of it.

Sounds even better than a virtual assistant.  I am not being modest here – I am very good at researching and finding things on the Internet.  If only I had the time – which is why, despite my research skills, I thought Fancy Hands could save me time.  So far I am not convinced — not to say this isn’t a great idea or service.  I will give it another month and will certainly recommend it to people who are terrible at researching.  It is worth the $30 investment for you to find out if it will be of benefit to you.

Do you know what your time is worth?

Time is money. Right?  So do you know if this is a worthwhile investment or not?  Check out this post in Small Business Trends.

Here is how I am using Fancy Hands.  If I think the task will take me more than 10 minutes and it is easy to write up the email – I will send it along. Sometimes they give provide an answer that is not really what I asked.  I usually find that what comes back is only a starting point for me.  Then I have to let my right brain kick in to think of a source they haven’t tried.

Here is a good example.

Let me begin by clarifying that what I was looking for in this request required going to sites in French.  Now, Fancy Hands does not have people who speak other languages although they are planning on expanding.  But my French isn’t very good either – which is why we have Google translation or other “one button” services.

I needed to find a place that would board my cat for 10 days in Paris.  I knew that this was actually going to be harder that it might seem.  House visits are common but boarding is not. My first “answer” gave me two cat sitting not boarding services.  The next email gave me four kennels that took dogs not cats and one possible place for cats.  I started my own search and confirmed what they had found in one minute.  However, I decided to be a little more creative and even without French, in 5 more minutes I came up with some addresses.  Two options had websites, rates and one was even in English.  The trick?  I made the connection that I needed boarding due to my upcoming move – so I looked for Expat Services or Groups with Bulletin Boards and searched their data base.  The two places are actually in the far suburbs of Paris .

Perhaps they should hire me and the Leadership Lessons

• Make sure your strategies are working.
• Don’t waste your time doing it over again.
• Be sure you delegate to the right person.

Credit where credit is due: I did have another question a few weeks back and it seems I got someone who may have had some French.  Even thought she claimed her French was rusty, she was able to come up with three resources that I found very useful.

FANCY-PANTS* Definition: Overly elaborate, swanky or pretentious – especially of dress.  Also applied to people who act in that manner.

*Origins: An American phrase – which is no big surprise as it derives from the American usage of pants to mean trousers. The first reference to the term in print is in an advert in the Maine newspaper The Bangor Daily Whig And Courier, in October 1843. In that, a company of auctioneers called Williams and Prince advertised the sale of “Fancy Pants – Cassimere”. That clearly refers to pants that were fancy. Cassimere was a type of soft closely woolen twill cloth. Not especially fancy by later standards but quite exotic for Bangor in the 1840s.

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My mother used to say:  “If you make your bed, then you have to lie in it.”  As a result of this upbringing, I am a bit of a product of “Calvinism”. I tend to think that good things won’t last and I always wait for the other shoe to drop.   Friends would say I am a glass half empty kind of person.  (Am I using to many metaphors?) My great fortune in life is that my better half lives life with such optimism and positivity it is almost sickening.  (OK, enough with the metaphors except for the morale of this tale.)  This is a story about peanut butter.

I don’t really like peanut butter very much and it is extremely expensive here in Europe.  I like to bring back a 1k plastic jar of Kraft Smooth Peanut Butter whenever I make a trip home to Canada. The kids like it and it comes in handy for  toast of a quick sandwich when nothing else seems to be available. I have been known to hoard it by storing it as far back in the cupboards as possible.  Good think is that it lasts a long time. There really is no immediate expiry date.

I have heard that peanut butter is excellent at getting gum out of hair.  So far I only know this from anecdotes and not first hand experience.  But for hiccups; this I do know.

I don’t get hiccups very often and when I do, usually holding my breath works.  Once in a blue moon it doesn’t and the hiccups continue until it starts hurting in my chest.  Then the best and quickest and surest way to stop it is to eat a soup spoon of peanut butter.  Instant relief.  Then I wonder why I didn’t get up and use it earlier.  Why did I have to suffer when I didn’t need to?  Do I think that I need to make things harder for myself?

Nike has it right with “Just Do It.” But this post is more than simply about getting up and stop procrastinating.  Sometimes we procrastinate because we make it so difficult for ourselves.  Sometimes the answers or actions are pretty simple. Like a previous post of mine: If you want to be a more effective leader start by being polite and courteous.

So here are the lessons that I have learned from keeping peanut butter in the house:

• Sometimes solutions are easy – we just don’t bother thinking the problem will go away. It usually doesn’t.
• Don’t overuse something just because it feels right.  Moderation.  But don’t hoard your resources either – people will begin to resent it and sneak around behind your back.
• If it is a limited resource – explain why it is important that usage is tracked and monitored. Make it clear that it is not about not trusting others.
• Using comfort food when we understand the purpose is not glossing over.  In real life, be consider and sincere. Say thank you.
• Celebrate when the problem is fixed.  Treat yourselves with another tablespoon of  . . . (fill in your own preferred choice.)

I am beginning to think that the whole concept of teams is passé.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think that my work with team building will be around for the rest of my career and will remain a major source of my income.  However, that said, as I focus more on collaboration I am beginning to wonder if the way we look at working groups is archaic for the new world of work.

What brought me to this conclusion?  It was a number of factors.  As I was writing this series on the basic principles for high performing teams, I kept asking myself:  “Surely, this must have changed over the past 20 years that I have been doing this stuff.”  While I was watching the “crowd behaviour” of all of us who were unable to get home due to the volcanic ash across Europe, I noticed how the people were acting with all the principles of effective teams but without the typical common “factors”.   I began to muse . . . could people perform and interact in a productive and collaborative manner without being a team?  My answer is “yes”.  The sports model is no longer adequate.  There is an inherent assumption that for a team to “win” someone has to loose.  We need collaborative models that build upon win-win solutions and the idea of teams no longer works.

Using old terminology to describe the new way people are working together is limiting.  I am also concerned about “creating” new words or descriptions that end up hijacked into jargon.  The perfect example is motivation became empowered which has now become enabled. Unfortunately, to date, I do not have any language that seems to make sense to me.  Perhaps communities is a beginning.  What language to you find yourself using?

This is the last in this series on the Basic Principles for High Performing Teams.  You can find previous posts here:

1. Team Building? You don’t even have a group!
2. Creating Healthy and Productive Teams
3. Who Needs a Team Charter? (Clarity of Purpose)
4. Team Commitment – Creating Trust and Confidence
5. Team Task Skills: Learning how to be the best at your game
6. Team Climate – Are you running hot or cold?
7. Team Process Skills – Tell me true
8. What does it mean to be a “good” team member?

It is also the last in my “rethinking” series based on my being stranded due to the volcanic ash:

1. Rethinking The Stories We Tell Ourselves
2. Rethinking Engagement
3. Rethinking Collaboration
4. Rethinking Leadership

Have you noticed that each week I post a new quote?  You can find it in the upper right hand column.  I also record the old quotes under the “Quote” tab above if you are interested.

I am also looking for short quotes related to the theme of this blog.  Please feel free to add them below.

The first follower is an underestimated leader.

To be a leader – you may have to be the first follower. The populous believes that you can’t be a leader without having followers.  I hate this premise – even if I don’t have a good argument to dismiss it. While watching people trying to figure out how to get home in spite of all the airplanes not flying due to volcanic ash, it was clear there was no leader of the pack. Nor was it any individual frenzy.  Everyone took personal responsibility for his or her actions and shared the knowledge that they discovered.  It made me wonder – if there is a shared vision, is leadership needed?

My answer is: Yes.  But perhaps not the traditional kind of leader from the front.  I have always liked this quote from Lao-tsu:

“To lead people, walk beside them … As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate … When the best leader’s work is done the people say, ‘We did it ourselves!’”

The following short video by Derek Sivers explains how movements really get started. He uses a very popular YouTube video which is under three minutes. Sure a leader needs to stand out and be fearless.  But it is first follower  who if treated like an equal will show others how to follow.

I have come to the conclusion that the follower is the leader.  This shouldn’t surprise me.  I have always believed that nothing is really diametrically opposed to another.  Everything is connected and once reframed is often the flip side to the same coin.  Thus the leader becomes an equal follower and the follower becomes the leader.

This is the fourth in a five part series based on some reflection time I had while “stranded” in Prague due to the volcanic ash. The others to date can be found here:

1. Rethinking Collaboration
2. Rethinking Engagement
3. Rethinking The Stories We Tell Ourselves

I was very fortunate to be be able to attend the Lift10 Conference for the past three days.   Lift is a series of events built around a community of pioneers who get together in Europe and Asia to explore the social implications of new technologies. Each conference is a chance to turn innovation into opportunities by anticipating the major shifts ahead, and meet the people who drive them.

It was extremely eclectic in topic choices and workshops.  What was exciting for me was not to listen to subjects that were new to me but the content was very often from a completely different perspective.  I pride myself on having diverse interests and seek out a broad range of topics.  Somehow, I have missed something.  I would never have know anything about this conference, if a friend hadn’t told me about it. Jennifer has been an interpreter for them and recommended that I attend.  Funny, but Jennifer is so unconnected in the digital sense; nor does she really know what I “do for a living”.  But she knew enough about my interests to share this with me.

I mention this because I challenge you to your assumptions about where and how you gain your knowledge and perspective on things.  Are you limiting yourself without realizing it – as I was?  Twitter has the potential of tapping into a broad scope of interests but I noticed that despite a large number that I follow, I was really not paying attention to the fringes. I would be very interested in hearing your strategies on this question:

How are you learning from the fringes?

I felt that this was the most “accessible” video from the conference for those not there and who may not be as excited as I am about technology innovation.  It is the presentation by Jamais Cascio, Institute For The Future: Wired for Anticipation:

The future is a process not a destination.

The future is not something that happens to us.  The future is something we that we create; with our every choice and with every act and including the choice not to act.