About this talk

As web companies strive to tailor their services (including news and search results) to our personal tastes, there’s a dangerous unintended consequence: We get trapped in a “filter bubble” and don’t get exposed to information that could challenge or broaden our worldview. Eli Pariser argues powerfully that this will ultimately prove to be bad for us and bad for democracy.  Pioneering online organizer Eli Pariser is the author of “The Filter Bubble,” about how personalized search might be narrowing our worldview.

Is Twitter part of the solution.

Lately I have become disillusioned with Twitter. Well not exactly disillusioned but wonder if the time / value trade-off is worth the effort.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have met some very interesting people through Twitter but to do so has taken a lot of focused effort and consideration.  Lately, I have too many connections be able to properly filter.  There are programs out there that will gladly suggest people I should follow based on who I already follow or who follows me. While I do filter based on my own interests, if carefully managed, I have much more control over who and how closely I follow people.  Of course once I start clicking the links within the tweets, I end up back in the hands of “Big Brother”.  Still it makes me wonder if Twitter has an important role to play after all.

Related articles

• 5 Questions with Eli Pariser, Author of ‘The Filter Bubble’ (techland.time.com)
• Twitter presents: great taglines for Eli Pariser’s talk (ted.com)

And for an alternative view

• Eli Pariser is wrong (glinden.blogspot.com)

Well I don’t always do a very good job of this at all.  In fact, I have so many fingers in so many pies that I often lose sight of what I am really trying to achieve. So starting at the beginning of this year (and no it isn’t a New Year’s Resolution just good timing), I am going stop running on a treadmill – no not literally and use my time a little more wisely.  This means that a couple of blogs – including Eclectic Change will lie dormant for a while.  I will let you know when “I am back”.

The juxtaposition of these two concepts derives from a great post on Tanveer Naseer’s blog “Is Leadership an Art or a Science?” Generally speaking most of us admit that leadership is both.  But I became interested in another comparison after seeing some terrific discussions on this month’s Think Big regarding women and economic power.  I am borrowing the term “labyrinth” from Alice Eagly, professor of sociology at Northwestern University. I first came across Eagly’s argument that women face a labyrinth more than the glass ceiling in a HBR Article from September 2007. A wonderful update can be found at Big Think “The “Glass Ceiling” Is Actually a Labyrinth ”

I designed a (tongue in cheek) chart below that outlines my views on the differences between an obstacle course and a labyrinth.  I think it is pretty easy to see how typically identified male skills better fit the obstacle course while the more often identified female skills fit the labyrinth.

Besides the alliteration, I think that the metaphor of labyrinth is fitting to all aspects of leaders and leadership. Surprisingly the two concepts of Leadership and the Labyrinth have only been joined when talking about women and the ministry. I suspect there is some additional insight here but I am not sure what it is.

But what about the future – will it be the obstacle course of the past?  I think not. With increasing complexity comes uncertainty, ambiguity and the need for new systems.  It there by seems pretty obvious who might be better suited to the new demands of leadership.   Different skills will be needed and women have one asttribute or competency that it appears most men refuse to develop. When all is said and done, it really boils down to one thing:

Women will make the better leaders of tomorrow because they are willing to ask for directions.

For a more validated analysis based on good research, the clip below may serve you best. It goes beyond the issues of challenges of women reaching the top but goes deeper into the value and ROI when industries embrace diversity. Eagly also points out how complexity has had an impact on leadership.

Earlier this month Tony Schwartz wrote an interesting HBR blog post Happiness Is Overrated. It certainly stirred up a lot of emotions in the comments.  Initially, I was inclined to disagree with Tony, but he was making some valuable observations.  As I have grown older I also discovered these truths for myself.  For the past five years I have never been happier or more frustrated.  Being happy takes hard work! It means doing the right thing each and every moment – an impossible task. It means doing what needs to be done even when you don’t want to do it but you do it because it needs doing. It means (unfortunately) not being first in your own life. Maybe happiness is overrated after all. But maybe experiencing happiness, the right kind of happiness is a message. A message that in that moment, you know what you do is important.

Happiness is about the little things we do everyday. I have been completely unable to find the source of this video and I would love to give attribution.  Take a few minutes to enjoy.

What kind of environment fosters the development of good ideas? This video below looks at this question and provides and overview to the answer from Steven Johnson’s new book “Where Good Ideas Come From” People often credit their ideas to individual “Eureka!” moments. But Steven Johnson shows how history tells a different story. We have all heard of the need for incubation but Johnson has observed that this process rarely occurs in isolation.

We need to create environments of conversations and dialogue.  In the past, it was the coffee houses that Johnson, I am reminded more of the salons of Paris and elsewhere.  Our challenge is to utilize the new social networks for meaningful reflection and exchange of ideas and not the “noise” that they often appear to be generating.

QUESTION: What tools do you use to stay connected both in mind and in relationship?

And for those who would like to dig in the topic, you can watch this 18 minute TED conference from the same Steven Johnson.  His fascinating tour takes us from the “liquid networks” of London’s coffee houses to Charles Darwin’s long, slow hunch to today’s high-velocity web.

The title of this post is a quote from Johnson as he ends his TED presentation.

You may be thinking that this is a trick question and perhaps you are right.  For some time now, I have been using the family system as a micro version of what happens in larger organizational systems.   So what better way than to look at the parental role as leader and how it plays out in gender differences?*

I begin with the story of my two parents.  The year is 1944, Bletchley Park, England.  My mother at 25 was less than half the age I am now.  She was a Flight Sergeant in the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force and newly wed to my father, a civilian and to her surprise almost 5 years her junior.  My mother had planned on making a career in the Air Force after the war but instead was decommissioned and by the early 50′s was raising a family as a stay-at-home Mum.  She always volunteered outside the home; often with women identified organizations such as Girl Guides, Planned Parenthood and the Elizabeth Fry Society.  In her fifties, she went back to school to become first a Real Estate Agent and then a Medical Secretary.  My father’s career took off after the war.  He went back to school, became an Electrical Engineer and immigrated to Canada with his wife and two small children.  He worked his way up Ma Bell and retired as a senior manager with over 600 people reporting to him.  He took pride in the nickname they had for him: “Hill the Mover: Hire, Fire, Transfer or Retire.” (I am not quite so sure it was meant as a compliment.)

So who was the better leader in my family configuration?

The Christian perspective is that the husband is the head (aka leader) of the household.  This has led to many debates as to the meaning and I am sure the same can be said in other religious practices.  Personally, I think this quote from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” exemplifies how most women feel:

Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. “Ah, the man is the head of the house!”
Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

My mother certainly believed this to be true.  So who is the better leader?

My premise is that neither and not for reasons that you might suspect.  I do think that all the roles and responsibilities of “leadership” can not be successfully handled by one person alone.  It is too large a burden to carry. For this reason, I am a great promoter of “collaborative leadership”.

Like many parents, my father and mother were excellent managers but not leaders in the modern sense. This is a sincere compliment.  They knew how to plan, organize, staff , direct and control. As I work with senior and new leaders, I am discovering that the art of management is becoming a lost skill.  We are trying to develop leaders without first ensuring that the foundation of management is there.

Most families have the potential for being a great leadership model but many fall short.  Each member does not have an equal voice. There is no mutually developed aligned vision.  Engagement of all the family members is often lacking.  Power . . . trust . . . the list could go on.

Ask yourself these questions in the context of leadership and see if they fall into the “traditional” gender role of male or female.

• Who pushed you to take risks?
• Who expressed emotions best?
• Who was the most accepting of your differences?
• Who encouraged you in your dreams?
• Who trusted you, your choices and your decisions?
• Who was the most compassionate?
• Who asked you for your opinion?
• Who was the strictest or had the most “rules”?
• Who challenged you to think bigger?
• Who made you feel safe?
• Who really managed the money?

Now, in hindsight, I am much more inclined to not only forgive but forget my parent’s shortcomings.  I see them for what we all are: human and flawed.  My Dad could be a bully and my Mum a martyr. That said, they were excellent role models.  And in the last few years, they stepped down as the leaders of our family and turned the responsibility over to my brother and me.  I only hope that I will have honoured that trust.  I also have my own blended family and it is pretty obvious to me . . . I am a good manager (gender be damned) but I have a lot to learn about the practice of shared leadership.  I am working on it!

* I have a confession to make.  I am much more inclined to support demographics as an influencer of style before gender or generational differences.  But that, perhaps, is another post.

It has been a few months since I posted a past article by my guest contributor Marion Franklin.  It is now truly the end of summer and most of us are back into our old, stale routines.  Perhaps this article will spur you on to new horizons.  You can find more in Marion’s ezine full of great stuff. Her contact information is below.

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The Lone Cow

by Marion Franklin, MCC

Marion Franklin, MS, MCC
http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com
ICF approved Laser Coaching Intensive 12 week program
ICF approved Mentor Coaching Groups

Image via Wikipedia

For the past few years, I tend to skim the headlines online every few days.  I usually feel rushed and unfocused.  However, for the past three weeks, I have had the greatest luxury (privilege?) to be able to sit down in the morning and read two newspapers from the previous day. My partner has been bringing them home from work for me.  With most people coming back to work in a few days and my own demands, I am not sure that this opportunity will last.

I had forgotten how satisfying and peaceful it is to actually experience holding a paper and slowly reading or reviewing each article.  The eyes travel over the page differently than on a computer screen.  You can actually take it all in – even while skimming parts of the page. (I don’t care how big the screen is or if you use an  iPad the qualities are not the same.)  The movement from page to page when continuing an article has its own sensation.  My attention is there in the moment and present.  It is the experience as much as the information that is of importance.  It doesn’t feel like another task to mark of my “to do” list.  On the contrary it is rejuvenating.

This activity has a number of benefits which all relate to balance:

• It sets the stage for the day ahead by forcing me to slow down and breathe.
• It clears my mind and at the same time stimulates my thinking.
• I have convinced it changes the way my brain waves are snapping . . .  less alpha, more beta and the right amount of theta?
• Finally, it keeps me current in the world of what is really going on.

What are you doing to start the day refreshed and grounded?

Here is a short related video of a presentation that I attended this summer at the Lift10 Conference in Geneva:

Over the years, like my guest author, I have helped coach individuals improve their public speaking.  So when I saw this simple exercise, I was intrigued.  I immediately asked Noel if I could reprint the short article.  Noel kindly agreed and asked me to add a link after his name “if you can fit that in”.  Well in my view one link isn’t enough.  Noel is a great coach and has lots of wonderful resources. Check out the sites listed below and be sure to sign up for his newsletter for the latest updates.  That is where I found this tip.  While I have not had much difficulty in presenting in public, my own personal inspiration would have to be the speeches of Winston Churchill.

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Becoming a Confident Speaker*

by Noel Posus

One of the most common areas of discussion I find in the workplace coaching I do is when individuals share that they are not confident speakers, and there are many reasons behind that. Certainly the fear of public speaking, which includes for some the fear of speaking up in a team meeting, is one of the biggest fears we have in our professional lives. A technique that I’ve been able to use quite successfully with many coachees is to ask them to research and find an emotionally moving speech from history and to practice delivering that speech at home.

The process generally helps them change their posture, learn to project their voice , work on how to vary their vocal inflection for impact, how to believe in the message they’re delivering and so on. This process also helps them “rewire” their brain to get all of these changes to work in concert and eventually, with practice, supports the individual to become more confident when they speak.  There are many other techniques I use along with this one, but I thought you might find this one particular technique interesting.

The most common speech people tend to pick is Martin Luther King’s famous “I have a dream” speech.  You can download the text and/or watch a video of that history-making speech here. And if you’d like to look up a list of 50 more incredible and historic speeches which you can also watch online, here’s another link.

Why not try this out for yourself and see how you too could boost your confidence and possibly also enhance the impact you can have on others when you speak?

About the Author:

Noel Posus is a recognized leader of the international coaching industry. He is a Master Coach with nearly twenty years experience as a professional educator, coach and author.Noel  has provided coaching and change management solutions to individuals and groups within the corporate, education and sporting fields and developed numerous specialty coaching programs.  Some of his web sites are:

www.askacoach.com
www.thewheelsoflife.com
www.coachingtoolsandresources.com

* Reprinted with permission.

I find it interesting how often I just accept was is being said without serious analysis and then find myself saying – well that makes sense when the “facts” have been disputed.  I found this happening to me when I read one of the headline this week in the New York Times:  Japan, Checking on Its Oldest, Finds Many Gone. I have no qualms about Japan having one of the oldest populations of citizens but really how many people can there be over 110?  Well, apparently Japan thought she had more than 200.

The concern comes after it was discovered that the “newest” oldest person in Japan was found in his bed mummified and he had in actuality been dead for 30 years.  This makes for great press but I wonder.

Should we be surprised?  It is not difficult to extrapolate into our own back yards and see the pressures on our own system mounting. These new realities of longer lives will play themselves out in ways that we were not anticipating.

Some health experts say these cases reflect strains in a society that expects children to care for their parents, instead of placing them in care facilities. They point out that longer life spans mean that children are called upon to take care of their elderly parents at a time when the children are reaching their 70s and are possibly in need of care themselves.

Should we be surprised?  Let us look beyond the cultural norms and expectations of the Japanese society for a minute.  We, in the west, have been feeling the pressures mounting over the care of our own elderly.  Elderly abuse exists everywhere and yet I do not see that much of it in the press.  I have only questions and not answers to this dilemma. I am one of the fortunate ones with parents reaching 90 who also had the financial resources to ensure proper care.  While I live thousands of kilometres away, I have a brother who believes it is not only his responsibility but his love to be there for our father.  Many others do not have a similar luxury but it seems that many are under some illusion that things will take care of themselves . . . somehow.  Perhaps winning the lottery?  A number of years  ago I read that 50% of people think they will get to retirement by winning the lottery.  To be honest I do not believe this figure and can’t be bothered to check it out.  However, it says a lot about our assumptions and belief systems.

Should we be surprised? It is time to wake up to the “truths” of our situation and admit that it is through our lack of diligence that we are where we are.  “Pride goeth before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)  What are the consequences when a nation or group or organization begins to pride itself of some achievement or value at the exclusion of current realities or common sense for that matter? We need to challenge these assumptions. We need to admit that some of our righteous indignation is merely a masked pride.  We need to review our thinking for faulty logic.  We need to consider seriously that we might be wrong.

As a side note, this morning I was reading that perhaps Lou Gehrig didn’t have A.L.S. or as it is better known “Lou Gehrig’s” disease after all.  Seems athletes and members of the military who are repeatedly subjected to hard hits are likely to suffer later from what looks like A.L.S.   Should we be surprised?