About this talk

As web companies strive to tailor their services (including news and search results) to our personal tastes, there’s a dangerous unintended consequence: We get trapped in a “filter bubble” and don’t get exposed to information that could challenge or broaden our worldview. Eli Pariser argues powerfully that this will ultimately prove to be bad for us and bad for democracy.  Pioneering online organizer Eli Pariser is the author of “The Filter Bubble,” about how personalized search might be narrowing our worldview.

Is Twitter part of the solution.

Lately I have become disillusioned with Twitter. Well not exactly disillusioned but wonder if the time / value trade-off is worth the effort.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have met some very interesting people through Twitter but to do so has taken a lot of focused effort and consideration.  Lately, I have too many connections be able to properly filter.  There are programs out there that will gladly suggest people I should follow based on who I already follow or who follows me. While I do filter based on my own interests, if carefully managed, I have much more control over who and how closely I follow people.  Of course once I start clicking the links within the tweets, I end up back in the hands of “Big Brother”.  Still it makes me wonder if Twitter has an important role to play after all.

Related articles

• 5 Questions with Eli Pariser, Author of ‘The Filter Bubble’ (techland.time.com)
• Twitter presents: great taglines for Eli Pariser’s talk (ted.com)

And for an alternative view

• Eli Pariser is wrong (glinden.blogspot.com)

The juxtaposition of these two concepts derives from a great post on Tanveer Naseer’s blog “Is Leadership an Art or a Science?” Generally speaking most of us admit that leadership is both.  But I became interested in another comparison after seeing some terrific discussions on this month’s Think Big regarding women and economic power.  I am borrowing the term “labyrinth” from Alice Eagly, professor of sociology at Northwestern University. I first came across Eagly’s argument that women face a labyrinth more than the glass ceiling in a HBR Article from September 2007. A wonderful update can be found at Big Think “The “Glass Ceiling” Is Actually a Labyrinth ”

I designed a (tongue in cheek) chart below that outlines my views on the differences between an obstacle course and a labyrinth.  I think it is pretty easy to see how typically identified male skills better fit the obstacle course while the more often identified female skills fit the labyrinth.

Besides the alliteration, I think that the metaphor of labyrinth is fitting to all aspects of leaders and leadership. Surprisingly the two concepts of Leadership and the Labyrinth have only been joined when talking about women and the ministry. I suspect there is some additional insight here but I am not sure what it is.

But what about the future – will it be the obstacle course of the past?  I think not. With increasing complexity comes uncertainty, ambiguity and the need for new systems.  It there by seems pretty obvious who might be better suited to the new demands of leadership.   Different skills will be needed and women have one asttribute or competency that it appears most men refuse to develop. When all is said and done, it really boils down to one thing:

Women will make the better leaders of tomorrow because they are willing to ask for directions.

For a more validated analysis based on good research, the clip below may serve you best. It goes beyond the issues of challenges of women reaching the top but goes deeper into the value and ROI when industries embrace diversity. Eagly also points out how complexity has had an impact on leadership.

I am beginning to think that the whole concept of teams is passé.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think that my work with team building will be around for the rest of my career and will remain a major source of my income.  However, that said, as I focus more on collaboration I am beginning to wonder if the way we look at working groups is archaic for the new world of work.

What brought me to this conclusion?  It was a number of factors.  As I was writing this series on the basic principles for high performing teams, I kept asking myself:  “Surely, this must have changed over the past 20 years that I have been doing this stuff.”  While I was watching the “crowd behaviour” of all of us who were unable to get home due to the volcanic ash across Europe, I noticed how the people were acting with all the principles of effective teams but without the typical common “factors”.   I began to muse . . . could people perform and interact in a productive and collaborative manner without being a team?  My answer is “yes”.  The sports model is no longer adequate.  There is an inherent assumption that for a team to “win” someone has to loose.  We need collaborative models that build upon win-win solutions and the idea of teams no longer works.

Using old terminology to describe the new way people are working together is limiting.  I am also concerned about “creating” new words or descriptions that end up hijacked into jargon.  The perfect example is motivation became empowered which has now become enabled. Unfortunately, to date, I do not have any language that seems to make sense to me.  Perhaps communities is a beginning.  What language to you find yourself using?

This is the last in this series on the Basic Principles for High Performing Teams.  You can find previous posts here:

1. Team Building? You don’t even have a group!
2. Creating Healthy and Productive Teams
3. Who Needs a Team Charter? (Clarity of Purpose)
4. Team Commitment – Creating Trust and Confidence
5. Team Task Skills: Learning how to be the best at your game
6. Team Climate – Are you running hot or cold?
7. Team Process Skills – Tell me true
8. What does it mean to be a “good” team member?

It is also the last in my “rethinking” series based on my being stranded due to the volcanic ash:

1. Rethinking The Stories We Tell Ourselves
2. Rethinking Engagement
3. Rethinking Collaboration
4. Rethinking Leadership

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are.  Mothers are great for that.  While they have high hopes for us, the bottom line is that mothers want us to be happy.  Mothers also quickly learn how their children are similar and how they are are different from them.  The good mothers foster and encourage those differences.  I had a mother like, that even though she worried all the time about me.

My mother tried hard to manage me . . . she figured out pretty quickly that I wasn’t at all like her, but more like her sister.  As a child, she treated me as though I had the same personality as her sister. Worse, my mother felt it was her duty to make sure I learned certain lessons.  It became evident in my teens that I was much more a female clone of my Dad.  So, she got some things wrong.  Fortunately, it wasn’t serious and I think she got most of it right.  All my life she would apologize for thinking that, before I hit my teens, I was probably going to grow up to be a “dumb blond”.  You see, she took the obvious route . . . I seemed similar to her sister and so she made some assumptions.  How many times have we heard one family member say to another? “You are so just like your ______”?  (Fill in the blank with what you heard.)  Do you agree or not?

We do this kind of stereotyping in the workplace all the time.  We look at other people and quickly try to size them up as “like us” or not.  If we think they look like us then we feel comfortable to act in our familiar patterns.  And if they aren’t like us, then we stay on our toes or best behaviour.  We look out for cues and signs.  We actively listen to what is being said and not said.   Those that are different in language, gender, religion or looks stand out immediately and, yes, we sometimes do treat them differently.  Those that are unable to make these distinctions get sent on sensitivity training.

It is passé to say that we need leaders to encourage diversity and inclusion.  The research is clear; diversity has a competitive value. Many attitudes are changing if not behaviours.   There are certain skills and knowledge that can be taught to help us avoid the cultural landmines.  We could all benefit from training on the different cultural dimensions. We need to understand our own mindsets and those of others.  I don’t believe in diversity programs or quotas but that’s another post.

A good example of issues that we need to understand can be found in Hofstede dimensions of  national culture:

• Power Distance
• Uncertainty Avoidance
• Individualism versus Collectivism
• Masculinity versus Femininity
• Long-Term Orientation
• Indulgence versus Restraint

While long term orientation has cultural significance, studies have shown that the ability of delayed gratification shows up in all cultures by the age of four.  I wrote about Marshmallow Experiment in another blog post which indicates that children who are able to wait are more likely to be successful as adults.  Discussing our own concepts and expectations around time can be very enlightening. I like to do exercises around this idea when working with teams.

Inititally, I have found that focusing on individual communication style is a good and neutral way to start the process of embracing differences.  I love to use simple models like The Platinum Rule^® and True Colors^® to bring out and validate the differences and the gifts that each one brings to the team.  This generic approach looks beyond cultural aspects and addresses the different styles in ALL of us.  It respects that while we may fall into one of four categories or types, we are all unique and combination of the styles.  It is pretty easy to create an awareness that we need these differences in order to be as productive and creative as possible.

The real challenge for leaders is how to integrate all the wonderful differences that each of us bring to the work place – regardless of our upbringings.  Leaders must create a space for everyone as well as manage the tensions that differences will bring forth. True, it is not always easy.  What happens when style or values gets in the way and leads to dissension and disagreement?  It takes courage on the part of leaders to deal directly and in a culturally appropriate way.  It means that leaders must be able to manage their own stress while allowing others to express theirs.

While it is “politically incorrect” to disregard the glaring diversity before us, it continues.  Much has been written on gender differences and still in Europe the issue of diversity is usually interpreted at the lack of women in senior positions.  Everywhere it seems OK to treat everyone who is “similar” as if they share our values.  Americans often think Canadians are just like them, but perhaps a little more polite.  We are not.  We may be seen as “respectable”, but sometimes I suspect our perceived politeness comes for a hidden sense of superiority.  As someone who lives with a French Canadian, I assure you that despite sharing a country of origin, we are totally different due to opposite cultural upbringings.  I find us blind to the vast diversity right under our noses. I include myself here.  These days, I am far more concerned about encouraging and embracing the smaller differences amongst us as human beings.

In the end, my Mum discovered she had two very unique children who were quite different from her.  She spent years trying to understand us; often she was unsuccessful. It didn’t stop her from trying or from loving us totally.  From her and my Dad, I learned to give them the same courtesy. I chose to respect their choices.  I worry that I am not as considerate of my own children.

As a child did you feel pigeon holed at school or at home? Perhaps nobody took the time to check their assumptions about you.  In the work place, let’s not continue to make the same mistake. Let us not think that everyone needs to learn the cultural lessons of the organization.  There may be greater diversity, creativity and talent that is being negated due to organizational pressure to adopt a culture of values that doesn’t fit for all employees. It is up to the leader in each of us to make sure those on the fringes feel that there is a place for them to show themselves and thereby want to remain.  It is up to the leader in each of us to honour each difference and encourage each difference to be expressed.  It is not just the right thing to do – it is good business.

I am the first person to believe that transparency is a good thing. I often preach it.  After reading a respected colleague of mine who does a lot work in the Middle East and Asia, I began to have a few reservations. So here are some thoughts for discussion. I’d love to hear your views.

In the above video, I mention the book “Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor“  by Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, James O’Toole.  You can find a nice little video of O’Toole discussing the book here.  Below is the other video I mention.

What does transparency mean to your company?

I want to wish you all a wonderful and joyous holiday season however you choose to celebrate. I am reprinting an article from a colleague that celebrates our differences and diversity in the workplace. At the end of the post, I have embedded a short video from TedTalks that describes what I think may be the first steps to finding common ground.

A Christmukah Story was first published in February 2007.

There is a lot to celebrate this month.  In addition to the holiday season, December 3 is International Day of Persons with Disabilities and December 10, International Human Rights Day, marking the 61st anniversary of the adoption of the  Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

I didn’t grow up celebrating Christmas.  It was “their” holiday.   It wasn’t until I met my late husband that I experienced the “magic” of Christmas; the amazing smell of a living tree, the fun of decorating, the comfort of lights on dark winter evenings, the eggnog, the gingerbread and of course, the chocolate.   I was hooked!

On December 6, 2001 my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  He had his first chemotherapy treatment a few days later and spent his last Christmas in a hospital bed. As was his habit, he had already bought the tree, and most of the presents.  He made me promise to have Christmas as usual for our five year old daughter. I will never forget being in our basement on Christmas Eve, after having put out the milk and cookies for Santa, crying and wrapping, lamenting, “I can’t do this! What do I know about this? I’m Jewish.”

Although my husband has been dead for almost eight years, we still celebrate Christmas, along with all of the Jewish holidays.  I make dinner on Christmas Eve, and have the same family friends over every year. A couple of years ago, when I called my friend to ask what her daughter wanted for Christmas, she said, “you will never believe what she put on her Christmas list this year – a dreidel and gold coins.”

The Jewish holiday of Hanukkah occurs each year some time in December. Playing dreidel is a traditional Hanukah game.  A dreidel is a spinning top and depending on where it lands you either get a pile of gold chocolate coins (or money) or you have to put some of your own stash into the pot.  My friend’s daughter had so much fun playing dreidel at our house the year before she asked for one so she could play at home.

I decided that not only would the kids play dreidel, but we would incorporate some Hanukah foods into our traditional Christmas dinner.  Instead of mashed potatoes, I served latkes.  Latkes are potato pancakes, aka round hash browns.  And for dessert, along with the Christmas goodies, we served suganyot – an Israeli jelly doughnut, another Hanukah treat.

My father-in-law, who is German, commented that the latkes seemed like kartoffelpuffer and the doughnuts like Berliner phantkuchen, both of which he had eaten as a boy in Germany. Another friend contributed a French baguette. I ate the entire meal with chopsticks, which has been my habit since I first tried them at the age of seven.

I have to say that one of the things I like most about celebrating Christmas is that it allows me to feel included.  It is no longer “their’ holiday.  Now it is my holiday too. I can participate in the fun and the excitement of the season. I can talk to strangers on the street about getting the tree up, the shopping, and the wrapping.  It has created a larger community for me.

I share a story  in Road to Respect  about an experience I had  number of years ago when  delivering Respectful Workplace training to a group of municipal employees. I was talking about how human rights is about the recognition of differences and the balancing of rights. One participant commented that, in her opinion, the balance was getting skewed in the “wrong” direction. Now, this is a comment I hear quite often.  I asked her if she could share an example of what she meant.  She said that she was really upset because the municipality had decided that employees could no longer say Merry Christmas, as that might offend some of their clients. Of course, she wanted to know “if they could do that.” In the discussion that followed, it became obvious that this was an issue that had touched a nerve for a lot of people, regardless of ethnicity.

This is an example of what can go wrong in the well intentioned interest of recognizing difference and wanting to be respectful of that difference.  It is true that not everyone in our multi-cultural country celebrates Christmas – and it is important to acknowledge that.  However, in the workplace, this acknowledgment must be part of a broader, clearly communicated strategy to promote a respectful, inclusive culture. In a Canadian workplace, this culture clearly includes a celebration of Christmas.  If that is not recognized, an employer risks promoting divisiveness and alienation rather than inclusion and acceptance.

In this situation, I heard anger expressed. Anger at their employer, and, unfortunately, anger at the “clients” that were the reason for the employer’s decision. The employer’s intentions had backfired.

Why were these employees angry?  Anger is a secondary emotion, often masking anxiety, frustration or fear.  And fear is front and center when we talk about issues like discrimination and harassment. “I had not been raised by Mother to be prejudiced,” writes American Suzie Humphreys, “So how did I become one of the Americans gasping about racial blending?  Fear, of course.  Isn’t that what’s at the root of all hatred?  Fear that someone else will take what’s mine, or get my place in line, or take away my values and force theirs upon me or you.” ¹

Certainly the goal of the employer that imposed the “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” rule was to show awareness and respect to those Canadians who don’t celebrate Christmas.  This intention should be recognized and applauded.  However, in adopting a policy which said staff could no longer wish their clients “Merry Christmas”, this employer inadvertently pushed the fear button.  This type of approach does not encourage an accepting and welcoming attitude.  Instead, it risks planting the seeds of fear which may sprout as prejudice.  It encourages an “us versus them” attitude, where “they” are seen as the group that is threatening to change our lives, our culture and our traditions.

The Canadian constitution embodies the values of tolerance, fairness, justice and mutual respect.  Our goal is to use these values to guide us in creating an inclusive society that recognizes difference and seeks to accommodate those differences.   So what does accommodation of difference look like when it comes to holiday celebrations?

In the December/January “holiday season” some employees may celebrate Christmas. Some employees may celebrate Hanukah.  Some may celebrate Bodhi Day, Eid-Ul-Adha, Oshogatsu, or the Birthday of Guru Gobind Singh.  In a multi-cultural environment, it is respectful and appropriate to demonstrate awareness of all of these different holidays and to acknowledge them.  An employer can easily find out about these holidays through a multi-faith calendar, which is available on-line.

I was speaking with a client who told me that she was involved in a workplace committee whose task was to find a number of different holidays that were reflective of the employee population. The committee then organizes events to recognize these different holidays and promote awareness about their associated rituals, traditions, and foods.

Another client shared with me how her organization had celebrated Halloween by bringing in pumpkins for employees to carve.  She said that for some of the employees from different cultures, this was their first time carving a pumpkin. And they loved it!

These types of activities help to build trust and familiarity between employees.  They help to calm the fears of those that are worried about “us” versus “them.”  If employers want to be able to take advantage of the opportunities that diversity provides, they must build a larger, more inclusive group of “us” in our workplaces.  They must build camaraderie amongst a diverse employee group that will offer a broad spectrum of creative ideas and skills to contribute to the business.

I do not believe that the fact that I celebrate Christmas in any way diminishes my identity as a Jew.  Rather, it has promoted commonality with others, while encouraging a renewed interest in my own ethnic traditions and culture.

According to Patricia Digh, co-founder of The Circle Project, an America consulting group which focuses on diversity issues, “Teaching students about frog anatomy by exposing them to the dissection of frogs does not make students more frog-like. So getting employees to read and think about perspectives other than their own does not mean that they will reject their own culture. It just means that they will be richer human beings knowing something about the perspectives of others.” ²

In a respectful workplace culture, the goal is to promote respect for, and recognition of, the unique differences that each individual employee brings to the workplace.  Adopting a proactive strategy to acknowledge and learn about each other’s traditions and celebrations provides employers with a wonderful opportunity to foster more harmonious, collaborative, and productive work relationships.  These types of relationships will translate into bottom line results and give employers the competitive edge that they need in today’s diverse and competitive labour market.

¹ Suzie Humphreys, If All Else Fails, Laugh!  Fredericksburg: Tivydale Press, 2005 (Suzie Humphreys is a speaker I had the privilege of hearing recently.   If you ever have an opportunity to be in Suzie’s audience, run, don’t walk to get a seat.)
² Lin Grensing-Pophal, Opportunities in Diversity Training, Society for Human Resource Management, SHRM Online, June, 2006

Don’t let the cost of disrespect threaten your business. Call Erica and build a respectful workplace culture to ensure  your business survives and thrives.

Erica Pinsky, M.Sc, CHRP, is an engaging and inspirational speaker, author and consultant working with organizations to build respectful and inclusive workplace cultures that attract and retain quality employees. Erica’s book, “Road to Respect: Path to Profit”  gives companies a road map to success in today’s challenging business climate.  It offers engaging stories, powerful insights and concrete strategies to guide businesses on the Path to Profit. Erica has been featured in the Globe and Mail, Business In Vancouver and Canadian Retailer Magazine.

Erica welcomes feedback on her newsletters. Please contact her at erica@ericapinskyinc.ca.

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At TEDGlobal University, Shereen El Feki shows how some Arab cultures are borrowing trademarks of Western pop culture — music videos, comics, even Barbie — and adding a culturally appropriate twist. The hybridized media shows how two civilizations, rather than dividing, can dovetail.