About this talk

As web companies strive to tailor their services (including news and search results) to our personal tastes, there’s a dangerous unintended consequence: We get trapped in a “filter bubble” and don’t get exposed to information that could challenge or broaden our worldview. Eli Pariser argues powerfully that this will ultimately prove to be bad for us and bad for democracy.  Pioneering online organizer Eli Pariser is the author of “The Filter Bubble,” about how personalized search might be narrowing our worldview.

Is Twitter part of the solution.

Lately I have become disillusioned with Twitter. Well not exactly disillusioned but wonder if the time / value trade-off is worth the effort.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have met some very interesting people through Twitter but to do so has taken a lot of focused effort and consideration.  Lately, I have too many connections be able to properly filter.  There are programs out there that will gladly suggest people I should follow based on who I already follow or who follows me. While I do filter based on my own interests, if carefully managed, I have much more control over who and how closely I follow people.  Of course once I start clicking the links within the tweets, I end up back in the hands of “Big Brother”.  Still it makes me wonder if Twitter has an important role to play after all.

Related articles

• 5 Questions with Eli Pariser, Author of ‘The Filter Bubble’ (techland.time.com)
• Twitter presents: great taglines for Eli Pariser’s talk (ted.com)

And for an alternative view

• Eli Pariser is wrong (glinden.blogspot.com)

Well I don’t always do a very good job of this at all.  In fact, I have so many fingers in so many pies that I often lose sight of what I am really trying to achieve. So starting at the beginning of this year (and no it isn’t a New Year’s Resolution just good timing), I am going stop running on a treadmill – no not literally and use my time a little more wisely.  This means that a couple of blogs – including Eclectic Change will lie dormant for a while.  I will let you know when “I am back”.

The juxtaposition of these two concepts derives from a great post on Tanveer Naseer’s blog “Is Leadership an Art or a Science?” Generally speaking most of us admit that leadership is both.  But I became interested in another comparison after seeing some terrific discussions on this month’s Think Big regarding women and economic power.  I am borrowing the term “labyrinth” from Alice Eagly, professor of sociology at Northwestern University. I first came across Eagly’s argument that women face a labyrinth more than the glass ceiling in a HBR Article from September 2007. A wonderful update can be found at Big Think “The “Glass Ceiling” Is Actually a Labyrinth ”

I designed a (tongue in cheek) chart below that outlines my views on the differences between an obstacle course and a labyrinth.  I think it is pretty easy to see how typically identified male skills better fit the obstacle course while the more often identified female skills fit the labyrinth.

Besides the alliteration, I think that the metaphor of labyrinth is fitting to all aspects of leaders and leadership. Surprisingly the two concepts of Leadership and the Labyrinth have only been joined when talking about women and the ministry. I suspect there is some additional insight here but I am not sure what it is.

But what about the future – will it be the obstacle course of the past?  I think not. With increasing complexity comes uncertainty, ambiguity and the need for new systems.  It there by seems pretty obvious who might be better suited to the new demands of leadership.   Different skills will be needed and women have one asttribute or competency that it appears most men refuse to develop. When all is said and done, it really boils down to one thing:

Women will make the better leaders of tomorrow because they are willing to ask for directions.

For a more validated analysis based on good research, the clip below may serve you best. It goes beyond the issues of challenges of women reaching the top but goes deeper into the value and ROI when industries embrace diversity. Eagly also points out how complexity has had an impact on leadership.

Earlier this month Tony Schwartz wrote an interesting HBR blog post Happiness Is Overrated. It certainly stirred up a lot of emotions in the comments.  Initially, I was inclined to disagree with Tony, but he was making some valuable observations.  As I have grown older I also discovered these truths for myself.  For the past five years I have never been happier or more frustrated.  Being happy takes hard work! It means doing the right thing each and every moment – an impossible task. It means doing what needs to be done even when you don’t want to do it but you do it because it needs doing. It means (unfortunately) not being first in your own life. Maybe happiness is overrated after all. But maybe experiencing happiness, the right kind of happiness is a message. A message that in that moment, you know what you do is important.

Happiness is about the little things we do everyday. I have been completely unable to find the source of this video and I would love to give attribution.  Take a few minutes to enjoy.

What kind of environment fosters the development of good ideas? This video below looks at this question and provides and overview to the answer from Steven Johnson’s new book “Where Good Ideas Come From” People often credit their ideas to individual “Eureka!” moments. But Steven Johnson shows how history tells a different story. We have all heard of the need for incubation but Johnson has observed that this process rarely occurs in isolation.

We need to create environments of conversations and dialogue.  In the past, it was the coffee houses that Johnson, I am reminded more of the salons of Paris and elsewhere.  Our challenge is to utilize the new social networks for meaningful reflection and exchange of ideas and not the “noise” that they often appear to be generating.

QUESTION: What tools do you use to stay connected both in mind and in relationship?

And for those who would like to dig in the topic, you can watch this 18 minute TED conference from the same Steven Johnson.  His fascinating tour takes us from the “liquid networks” of London’s coffee houses to Charles Darwin’s long, slow hunch to today’s high-velocity web.

The title of this post is a quote from Johnson as he ends his TED presentation.

You may be thinking that this is a trick question and perhaps you are right.  For some time now, I have been using the family system as a micro version of what happens in larger organizational systems.   So what better way than to look at the parental role as leader and how it plays out in gender differences?*

I begin with the story of my two parents.  The year is 1944, Bletchley Park, England.  My mother at 25 was less than half the age I am now.  She was a Flight Sergeant in the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force and newly wed to my father, a civilian and to her surprise almost 5 years her junior.  My mother had planned on making a career in the Air Force after the war but instead was decommissioned and by the early 50′s was raising a family as a stay-at-home Mum.  She always volunteered outside the home; often with women identified organizations such as Girl Guides, Planned Parenthood and the Elizabeth Fry Society.  In her fifties, she went back to school to become first a Real Estate Agent and then a Medical Secretary.  My father’s career took off after the war.  He went back to school, became an Electrical Engineer and immigrated to Canada with his wife and two small children.  He worked his way up Ma Bell and retired as a senior manager with over 600 people reporting to him.  He took pride in the nickname they had for him: “Hill the Mover: Hire, Fire, Transfer or Retire.” (I am not quite so sure it was meant as a compliment.)

So who was the better leader in my family configuration?

The Christian perspective is that the husband is the head (aka leader) of the household.  This has led to many debates as to the meaning and I am sure the same can be said in other religious practices.  Personally, I think this quote from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” exemplifies how most women feel:

Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. “Ah, the man is the head of the house!”
Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

My mother certainly believed this to be true.  So who is the better leader?

My premise is that neither and not for reasons that you might suspect.  I do think that all the roles and responsibilities of “leadership” can not be successfully handled by one person alone.  It is too large a burden to carry. For this reason, I am a great promoter of “collaborative leadership”.

Like many parents, my father and mother were excellent managers but not leaders in the modern sense. This is a sincere compliment.  They knew how to plan, organize, staff , direct and control. As I work with senior and new leaders, I am discovering that the art of management is becoming a lost skill.  We are trying to develop leaders without first ensuring that the foundation of management is there.

Most families have the potential for being a great leadership model but many fall short.  Each member does not have an equal voice. There is no mutually developed aligned vision.  Engagement of all the family members is often lacking.  Power . . . trust . . . the list could go on.

Ask yourself these questions in the context of leadership and see if they fall into the “traditional” gender role of male or female.

• Who pushed you to take risks?
• Who expressed emotions best?
• Who was the most accepting of your differences?
• Who encouraged you in your dreams?
• Who trusted you, your choices and your decisions?
• Who was the most compassionate?
• Who asked you for your opinion?
• Who was the strictest or had the most “rules”?
• Who challenged you to think bigger?
• Who made you feel safe?
• Who really managed the money?

Now, in hindsight, I am much more inclined to not only forgive but forget my parent’s shortcomings.  I see them for what we all are: human and flawed.  My Dad could be a bully and my Mum a martyr. That said, they were excellent role models.  And in the last few years, they stepped down as the leaders of our family and turned the responsibility over to my brother and me.  I only hope that I will have honoured that trust.  I also have my own blended family and it is pretty obvious to me . . . I am a good manager (gender be damned) but I have a lot to learn about the practice of shared leadership.  I am working on it!

* I have a confession to make.  I am much more inclined to support demographics as an influencer of style before gender or generational differences.  But that, perhaps, is another post.

Image via Wikipedia

For the past few years, I tend to skim the headlines online every few days.  I usually feel rushed and unfocused.  However, for the past three weeks, I have had the greatest luxury (privilege?) to be able to sit down in the morning and read two newspapers from the previous day. My partner has been bringing them home from work for me.  With most people coming back to work in a few days and my own demands, I am not sure that this opportunity will last.

I had forgotten how satisfying and peaceful it is to actually experience holding a paper and slowly reading or reviewing each article.  The eyes travel over the page differently than on a computer screen.  You can actually take it all in – even while skimming parts of the page. (I don’t care how big the screen is or if you use an  iPad the qualities are not the same.)  The movement from page to page when continuing an article has its own sensation.  My attention is there in the moment and present.  It is the experience as much as the information that is of importance.  It doesn’t feel like another task to mark of my “to do” list.  On the contrary it is rejuvenating.

This activity has a number of benefits which all relate to balance:

• It sets the stage for the day ahead by forcing me to slow down and breathe.
• It clears my mind and at the same time stimulates my thinking.
• I have convinced it changes the way my brain waves are snapping . . .  less alpha, more beta and the right amount of theta?
• Finally, it keeps me current in the world of what is really going on.

What are you doing to start the day refreshed and grounded?

Here is a short related video of a presentation that I attended this summer at the Lift10 Conference in Geneva:

I find it interesting how often I just accept was is being said without serious analysis and then find myself saying – well that makes sense when the “facts” have been disputed.  I found this happening to me when I read one of the headline this week in the New York Times:  Japan, Checking on Its Oldest, Finds Many Gone. I have no qualms about Japan having one of the oldest populations of citizens but really how many people can there be over 110?  Well, apparently Japan thought she had more than 200.

The concern comes after it was discovered that the “newest” oldest person in Japan was found in his bed mummified and he had in actuality been dead for 30 years.  This makes for great press but I wonder.

Should we be surprised?  It is not difficult to extrapolate into our own back yards and see the pressures on our own system mounting. These new realities of longer lives will play themselves out in ways that we were not anticipating.

Some health experts say these cases reflect strains in a society that expects children to care for their parents, instead of placing them in care facilities. They point out that longer life spans mean that children are called upon to take care of their elderly parents at a time when the children are reaching their 70s and are possibly in need of care themselves.

Should we be surprised?  Let us look beyond the cultural norms and expectations of the Japanese society for a minute.  We, in the west, have been feeling the pressures mounting over the care of our own elderly.  Elderly abuse exists everywhere and yet I do not see that much of it in the press.  I have only questions and not answers to this dilemma. I am one of the fortunate ones with parents reaching 90 who also had the financial resources to ensure proper care.  While I live thousands of kilometres away, I have a brother who believes it is not only his responsibility but his love to be there for our father.  Many others do not have a similar luxury but it seems that many are under some illusion that things will take care of themselves . . . somehow.  Perhaps winning the lottery?  A number of years  ago I read that 50% of people think they will get to retirement by winning the lottery.  To be honest I do not believe this figure and can’t be bothered to check it out.  However, it says a lot about our assumptions and belief systems.

Should we be surprised? It is time to wake up to the “truths” of our situation and admit that it is through our lack of diligence that we are where we are.  “Pride goeth before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)  What are the consequences when a nation or group or organization begins to pride itself of some achievement or value at the exclusion of current realities or common sense for that matter? We need to challenge these assumptions. We need to admit that some of our righteous indignation is merely a masked pride.  We need to review our thinking for faulty logic.  We need to consider seriously that we might be wrong.

As a side note, this morning I was reading that perhaps Lou Gehrig didn’t have A.L.S. or as it is better known “Lou Gehrig’s” disease after all.  Seems athletes and members of the military who are repeatedly subjected to hard hits are likely to suffer later from what looks like A.L.S.   Should we be surprised?

While I was sitting at breakfast this morning, I noticed the book title that my 7 yr old was reading, TreeTops Stage 13 “The Personality Potion” (If you know the scholastic series, you will know that I am boasting because Stage 13 is for 9 to 10 year old.) It was evident to me that here was a blog post if I ever saw one.  So after every one had left for school and work, I sat down to read this delightful book by Alan MacDonald.

The story is about a young boy Danny who is very introverted.  He is afraid of the school bully and afraid to try out for the school play. His uncle gives hims a magic potion.

‘Personality Potion?’ Danny’s eyes widened. ‘What’s that?’
‘It brings out the hidden talents that no one know are inside you.”

Turns out that after taking the potion, Danny is able to stand up to the bully.  Even though he drops the bottle with the potion in it, Danny successfully auditions for the school play.  While there are a number of lessons in the short book, the obvious one is about believing in oneself.  I could delve into the concept of the Pygmalion Effect or the power of affirmations, but I won’t.  The suggestions in the book for a parent to discuss with his or her child are far more potent.

After reading

• Read page 54 again together.  Ask your child if they think the story could happen in real life and if someone could change their personality by believing in him or herself.
• Talk together about any hidden talents your child things they might have and how they can use them.

As  coach, we are always asking our clients about limiting beliefs.  As a leader, we are always looking to uncover the talents and potential of those who work with and for us.

Questions: Do you think people can change?  Really?  If yes, how do you support this shift?

Awareness and knowledge are the first steps in a person’s ability to make choices of any kind.  Inpartial assessments can be a good place to start.  However, wanting to change and know how to go about your development may require a different skill set.  Just as parent is there to support and guide children, adults may need a mentor or coach to facilitate the process.

If you are interested in using assessments to uncover your own hidden talents or to use them with your clients / team, please contact me.  I offer a variety of instruments through AssessYourself or can recommend one to you.  More information can be found at: Assessments Here

Life is full of chores and too many little things to do .  There is a new service in town that I read about in Fact Company and I am on my second month of giving them a go.  In principle – this is a fantastic concept and service.  Fancy Hands call themselves personal assistants in the clouds and describe themselves as:

Every day there are things you need to get done, but they’re not necessarily things that you need to do. Just email us and we’ll take care of it.

Sounds even better than a virtual assistant.  I am not being modest here – I am very good at researching and finding things on the Internet.  If only I had the time – which is why, despite my research skills, I thought Fancy Hands could save me time.  So far I am not convinced — not to say this isn’t a great idea or service.  I will give it another month and will certainly recommend it to people who are terrible at researching.  It is worth the $30 investment for you to find out if it will be of benefit to you.

Do you know what your time is worth?

Time is money. Right?  So do you know if this is a worthwhile investment or not?  Check out this post in Small Business Trends.

Here is how I am using Fancy Hands.  If I think the task will take me more than 10 minutes and it is easy to write up the email – I will send it along. Sometimes they give provide an answer that is not really what I asked.  I usually find that what comes back is only a starting point for me.  Then I have to let my right brain kick in to think of a source they haven’t tried.

Here is a good example.

Let me begin by clarifying that what I was looking for in this request required going to sites in French.  Now, Fancy Hands does not have people who speak other languages although they are planning on expanding.  But my French isn’t very good either – which is why we have Google translation or other “one button” services.

I needed to find a place that would board my cat for 10 days in Paris.  I knew that this was actually going to be harder that it might seem.  House visits are common but boarding is not. My first “answer” gave me two cat sitting not boarding services.  The next email gave me four kennels that took dogs not cats and one possible place for cats.  I started my own search and confirmed what they had found in one minute.  However, I decided to be a little more creative and even without French, in 5 more minutes I came up with some addresses.  Two options had websites, rates and one was even in English.  The trick?  I made the connection that I needed boarding due to my upcoming move – so I looked for Expat Services or Groups with Bulletin Boards and searched their data base.  The two places are actually in the far suburbs of Paris .

Perhaps they should hire me and the Leadership Lessons

• Make sure your strategies are working.
• Don’t waste your time doing it over again.
• Be sure you delegate to the right person.

Credit where credit is due: I did have another question a few weeks back and it seems I got someone who may have had some French.  Even thought she claimed her French was rusty, she was able to come up with three resources that I found very useful.

FANCY-PANTS* Definition: Overly elaborate, swanky or pretentious – especially of dress.  Also applied to people who act in that manner.

*Origins: An American phrase – which is no big surprise as it derives from the American usage of pants to mean trousers. The first reference to the term in print is in an advert in the Maine newspaper The Bangor Daily Whig And Courier, in October 1843. In that, a company of auctioneers called Williams and Prince advertised the sale of “Fancy Pants – Cassimere”. That clearly refers to pants that were fancy. Cassimere was a type of soft closely woolen twill cloth. Not especially fancy by later standards but quite exotic for Bangor in the 1840s.