This will be posted over Easter when I am off with the family on a journey to visit some German Castles and Legoland. It seems right to take a little time to pontificate on how my life has changed.  A small story of how I have chosen to remain a work in progress and reassemble the pieces of myself.  Too bad it is not as easy as Play-mobile or Lego.

When I was in my 30′s I use to say that I was in training to be eccentric.  I felt that any eccentricity before the age of 60 was merely being “flaky”.  When I was in my early 50′s I met the love of my life and ended up changing everything and “inheriting” two young stepsons.  You can not be eccentric and in healthy intimate relationships with others.    Think of individuals that you feel epitomize eccentricity and I will show you an individual who is likely living alone.  I know.  I was one of these people.  I spent most of my adult life independently without responsibilities to anyone but myself. I was number 1. Now I am number 4 and let me tell you it is sometimes a hard pill to swallow.

I don’t want to be eccentric anymore. So instead, now I am claiming to be eclectic.  Has a nice ring to it.  I think one of the great dangers of “trying” to be eclectic is that you do fall in to the traps of being eccentric and then it is a slippery slope towards either unbridled optimism or  critical cynicism.  Unfortunately, I have a tendency to lean towards the latter.

@GrantGriffiths recently wrote this wonderful piece:  Is Your Blog a Big Whiny Baby? It  made me think that I didn’t want to in any way seem self righteous or above it all.  Often I do see the world a little as-crewed.  Maybe it is dyslexic or maybe I am warped but I have such hope for the world. However, most people don’t always see this in me. I also know that my views often come across as harsh and critical.  I am seen as impatient and my family sometimes thinks that I might rain on their parade.  I like to think that I am being realistic and practical.

In popular usage, eccentricity refers to unusual or odd behavior on the part of an individual.  It could be construed as a personality that is bizarre: conspicuously or grossly unconventional or unusual.  But there is another far more powerful meaning: out of center or having an axis or point of support that is not centrally placed. Off center means that being eccentric can show up in different extremes.  The word extreme is a clue. Here are some questions to help you decided your own eccentricity.

Eccentricity Quiz

1. Would you consider yourself grounded and anchored?
2. Are you so flexible that you don’t stand for anything?
3. Do you feel balanced?  (Side note – it is my balance that shows up problematic on my Wii Fitness.)
4. Do people find you unpredictable or predictable in your unpredictability?
5. Seriously, do you care what people think about you?
6. Do you like to be convoluted?
7. Do you have more ideas than you know what to do with them?
8. Do your clothes never match on the outside but your underwear and shocks do?
9. Do you like to be a “devil’s advocate” in debates?
10. Do others think you are rude but you think you are refreshingly blunt?

Scoring

Give yourself a point for each question that you answered yes except for questions 1, 3 and 5.  Give yourself  a point for question 1, 3 and 5, if you answered  no. If you have a score of 6 or more,  you may be eccentric. (By the way, these questions and the scoring is totally off the top of my head and is meant for amusement purposes only.)

I find it extremely interesting as I work with the Tilt 360 Leadership Types Model to discover my natural strengths and how the consequences of overusing them.  On the six polarities, I stand out on Solution.  This polarity is the balancing of perspective with creativity.  What does that mean in simpler terms?  When I use those character strengths well, I show up as both an Objective Leader and an Innovative Leader.  When I overdo it – I am both The Skeptic (Cynic) and The Eccentric.

Having connections with others and my own family I now know what I did not before: Being cynical and eccentric is a way to escape from the world; remaining disconnected and isolated. Engaging in the world and with others I have the potential of identifying the wisdom in all of us.  I remain a work in progress having discovered late in life the futility of eccentricity.

“Cynicism is not realistic and tough. It’s unrealistic and kind of cowardly because it means you don’t have to try.” (Peggy Noonan)

Gretchen Rubin says something similar towards the end of this wonderful interview. The Happiness Project, is a memoir of the year Gretchen Rubin spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happy–from Aristotle to Martin Seligman to Thoreau to Oprah.  Check out her blog. It is full of great hints and ideas.

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