If you are coach or a facilitator, then maybe you should limit the use of these words but leaders – it is about time you reclaimed them. Leaders need to be using the word “I” when it comes to expressing how they feel regarding something and certainly to take responsibility. Stop passing the buck by disappearing into that innocuous and vague collective “WE”.
When did the word “I” become all about me. There is no “I” in team. Spare me. As
Peter Jager would say “Just as ‘there’s no I in TEAM’ there’s no meaning in such sayings” (via @pdejager) Clearly, the leader isn’t announcing that he or she did it all himself or herself. Even dictators recognize the need to create devoted followers if at all possible. What I see happening more is the “leader” today is hiding behind this facade of collaboration and engagement to avoid accountability. Of course, one big group hug is not what either collaboration or engagement is about – but that is for other posts.
When did the question “Why?” become so accusatory? So you think that asking someone why is attacking and guaranteed to put a person on the defensive? It is the intention behind the question and the state of mind of the listener. All the 5 question types can sound challenging:
- Why did you do that?
- What where you thinking?
- Where do you think you are going?
- How dare you?
- Who do you think you are?
Why is the verbal manifestation of curiosity in children. Why is the stuff that dreams are made of. “Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?” (George Bernard Shaw not JFK) How can we possibly address the issues of strategy, vision and purpose if we don’t ask the question “Why”?
You want a little more credibility as a leader? Start using the first person when you should and remain open to possibilities by asking first yourself the hard questions. Practice the 5 Whys, a question-asking method used to explore the cause/effect relationships underlying a particular problem. Begin in your mind . . . Why is this so?
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